18 - Super Mario Bros.

May 30, 2017 by Sol Harris in 2016

Released 03/10/2016

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

Not content with trying something new last time, this episode sees the gang pitching how to adapt the Super Mario Bros. games to the big screen.

Films covered in this episode:

Super Mario Bros.: The Great Mission to Rescue Princess Peach (1986)
Allen: n/s
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 50%

Super Mario Bros. (1993)
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 44%

17 - Tim Burton

May 30, 2017 by Sol Harris in 2016

Released 26/09/2016

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

In another slightly format-bending episode, Diminishing Returns take a look at the career of Tim Burton, all the way from his early short films up to the upcoming Miss Peregrine's House of Weird Kids. Instead of pitching sequels, Allen, Calvin and Sol pitch what they would like to see Tim pick up as his next project.

Films covered in this episode:

Pee-Wee's Big Adventure
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 70%

Beetlejuice
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 77%

Edward Scissorhands
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 84%

The Nightmare Before Christmas
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 90%

Ed Wood
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 90%

Mars Attacks!
Allen: ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 60%

Sleepy Hollow
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 74%

Planet of the Apes (2001)
Allen: ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰
Overall score: 40%

Big Fish
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 74%

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 67%

Corpse Bride
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 67%

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 70%

Alice in Wonderland (2010)
Allen: n/s
Calvin: ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰
Overall score: 30%

Dark Shadows
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰
Overall score: 50%

Frankenweenie (2012)
Allen: n/s
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 80%

Big Eyes
Allen: n/s
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 70%

We review Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children in:
"Review of the Year 2016"
...and again in...
"Review of the Year 2017: Part 1"

We revisit Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes in:
"Rise of the Planet of the Apes"

Allen's review of Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children

16 - The Evil Dead

May 30, 2017 by Sol Harris in 2016

Released 19/09/2016 as “Evil Dead”

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

Season 2 of the wonderful Ash vs Evil Dead will soon be upon us. In anticipation, the gang take a whistle-stop tour of the franchise, then pitch their own ideas for new Evil Dead movies. Groovy.

Films covered in this episode:

The Evil Dead (1981)
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 70%

Evil Dead II
Allen: ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 70%

Army of Darkness
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 75%

Evil Dead (2013)
Allen: n/s
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 70%

Ash vs Evil Dead (season 1)
Allen: n/s
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 100%

The Evil Dead Drinking Game

As discussed in this episode, these are the rules for the drinking game you should play whilst watching The Evil Dead Trilogy:

1. Drink whenever Ash is hit or physically abused in some capacity.

2. Drink every time someone says a cheesy one-liner.

3. Drink every time a bodily fluid is on screen.

4. When the film shows you a geyser of blood, down your drink.

We review Ash vs Evil Dead season 2 in:
"Review of the Year 2016"

Related Episodes:
"Spider-Man"

15 - Bridget Jones's Diary (with Sol's mum)

May 29, 2017 by Sol Harris in 2016

Released 12/09/2016 as “Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason”

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

Guest: Sol’s mum

We at Diminishing Returns decided to take control of our lives and start a podcast (an aural diary, if you will). In this, the 15th episode, we take on fellow diarist, Bridget Jones and, as always, pitch ideas for the future.

Films covered in this episode:

Bridget Jones's Diary
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ½
Overall score: 47%

Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰
Sol: n/s
Overall score: 35%

We review Bridget Jones's Baby in:
"Review of the Year 2016"

Allen's review of Bridget Jones's Baby

14 - Pink Flamingos

May 29, 2017 by Sol Harris in 2016

Released 05/09/2016

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

If you're not familiar with Pink Flamingos, then be warned: this episode sees Diminishing Returns discuss things as repulsive as cannibalism, incest and Donald Trump.

Disclaimer: We had some technical issues with Allen's microphone in this episode - if you're new to the show, rest assured that the audio quality tends to be better.

Films covered in this episode:

Pink Flamingos
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰
Overall score: 67%

13 - From Russia With Love

May 29, 2017 by Sol Harris in 2016

Released 29/08/2016

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

Diminishing Returns return (without diminishing) to the James Bond franchise in order to pitch sequels to 1963's From Russia with Love.

Films covered in this episode:

From Russia With Love
Allen: ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 57%

Episodes in the James Bond series:
"Dr. No"
"From Russia with Love"
"Goldfinger"
"Thunderball"
"You Only Live Twice"
"On Her Majesty's Secret Service"
"Diamonds Are Forever"
"Live and Let Die"
“The Man with the Golden Gun”
“The Spy Who Loved Me”

12 - Ben-Hur

May 29, 2017 by Sol Harris in 2016

Released 22/08/2016

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

In which Diminishing Returns have a religious awakening thanks to the 1959 cinematic epic Ben-Hur.

Films covered in this episode:

Ben-Hur (1959)
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 60%

We review Ben-Hur (2016) in:
"Review of the Year 2016"

Allen's review of Ben-Hur (2016)

11 - The Office

May 29, 2017 by Sol Harris in 2016

Released 15/08/2016

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

Diminishing Returns discuss all things The Office in anticipation of Ricky Gervais' film David Brent: Life on the Road.

TV shows covered in this episode:

The Office (UK)
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 94%

The Office (US)
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 80%

Stromberg: Der Film
Allen: n/s
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 70%

We review David Brent: Life on the Road in:
"Review of the Year 2016"

Allen's review of David Brent: Life on the Road

Sol's review of David Brent: Life on the Road

10 - It Follows

May 29, 2017 by Sol Harris in 2016

Released 08/08/2016

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

Diminishing Returns follow their last episode with an episode about how they'd follow It Follows.

Films covered in this episode:

It Follows
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 74%

9 - Batman

May 29, 2017 by Sol Harris in 2016

Released 01/08/2016 as “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice”

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

Diminishing Returns presents a Batman epic, spanning 2 hours, in which Allen, Calvin and Sol embark on a whistle-stop tour of the screen iterations of Batman, covering everything from the 1943 movie serial to the upcoming Suicide Squad. Oh, and Superman also.

Films covered in this episode:

The Batman (1943)
Allen: n/s
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 50%

Batman: The Movie (1966)
Allen: n/s
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 75%

Batman (1989)
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 64%

Batman Returns
Allen: ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 67%

Batman Forever
Allen: ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 47%

Batman & Robin
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ½
Overall score: 37%

Batman Begins
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 74%

The Dark Knight
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 87%

The Dark Knight Rises
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 64%

Man of Steel
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 50%

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
Allen: ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 44%

We review Suicide Squad in:
"Review of the Year 2016"
and
"Suicide Squad"

Allen's review of Suicide Squad

Episodes in the DC Extended Universe series:
"Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice"
"Suicide Squad"
"Wonder Woman"

You might also be interested in:
"The LEGO Batman Movie"

8 - The Bourne Identity

May 29, 2017 by Sol Harris in 2016

Released 25/07/2016 as “The Bourne Legacy”

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

Diminishing Returns go back to their spy-movie roots and take on the Bourne franchise, consisting of The Bourne Identity, Supremacy, Ultimatum and Legacy.

Films covered in this episode:

The Bourne Identity
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 74%

The Bourne Supremacy
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 54%

The Bourne Ultimatum
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 54%

The Bourne Legacy
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰
Overall score: 50%

We review Jason Bourne in:
"Review of the Year 2016"

Allen's review of Jason Bourne

If you liked this episode, you might also be interested in:
"Dr. No"

7 - Frankenstein

May 29, 2017 by Sol Harris in 2016

Released 18/07/2016

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

This week, Diminishing Returns use Frankenstein as a jumping-off point, with Calvin, Sol and Allen each taking ideas from elsewhere and cobbling them together to create ambitious, grotesque and ultimately doomed pitches for the sequel.

Films covered in this episode:

Frankenstein (1931)
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 74%

Bride of Frankenstein
Allen: n/s
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 90%

Son of Frankenstein
Allen: n/s
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 70%

The Ghost of Frankenstein
Allen: n/s
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 70%

Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man
Allen: n/s
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 70%

House of Frankenstein
Allen: n/s
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 70%

Young Frankenstein
Allen: ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 57%

Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (1994)
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 54%

I, Frankenstein
Allen: n/s
Calvin: ✰ ½
Sol: n/s
Overall score: 30%

Victor Frankenstein
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: n/s
Sol: n/s
Overall score: 70%

Did we pique your interest for Calvin's short film "The Bride of Vernon"? If so, you can watch it in full on YouTube.

Episodes in the Universal Monsters series:
"Frankenstein"
"The Mummy"

6 - Star Trek

May 29, 2017 by Sol Harris in 2016

Released 11/07/2016 as “Star Trek Into Darkness”

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

In this episode, Diminishing Returns discuss Star Trek before pitching their ideas for the 13th film in the franchise.
If, like Calvin, you aren't a Trekkie and know nothing about Star Trek, then take this crash course with Diminishing Returns.
If you are a Trekkie, then fire up your keybord and start arguing with us in the comments.

Films covered in this episode:

Star Trek: The Motion Picture
Allen: ✰ ✰
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 45%

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 75%

Star Trek III: The Search for Spock
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 55%

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 80%

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 65%

Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 70%

Star Trek Generations
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 70%

Star Trek: First Contact
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 65%

Star Trek: Insurrection
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 65%

Star Trek: Nemesis
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 70%

Star Trek (2009)
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 74%

Star Trek Into Darkness
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 64%

We review Star Trek Beyond in:
"Review of the Year 2016"

Allen's review of Star Trek Beyond

Sol's review of Star Trek Beyond

5 - Ghostbusters

May 29, 2017 by Sol Harris in 2016

Released 04/07/2016 as “Ghostbusters II”

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

Diminishing Returns take some time to discuss human-diminishing-returns (i.e. ghosts). They also find the time to discuss Ghostbusters and how they would have handled the third film in Sony's supernatural comedy franchise.

Films covered in this episode:

Ghostbusters (1984)
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 74%

Ghostbusters II
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 64%

We review Ghostbusters (2016) in:
"Review of the Year 2016"

Allen's review of Ghostbusters (2016)

Sol's review of Ghostbusters (2016)

4 - Absolutely Fabulous

May 29, 2017 by Sol Harris in 2016

Released 27/06/2016

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

In a slightly mould-bending episode, the Diminishing Returns trio chime in with their thoughts on classic television series Absolutely Fabulous, discuss Britcoms making the leap to the cinema and pitch their own ideas for how best to adapt the show to the big-screen.

TV series covered in this episode:

Absolutely Fabulous
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 74%

We review Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie in:
"Review of the Year 2016"

Allen's review of Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie

Sol's review of Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie

3 - Independence Day

May 29, 2017 by Sol Harris in 2016

Released 20/06/2016

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

Independence Day: Resurgence, the 20-years-too-late sequel to 1996's Independence Day, is out this week. What would the film have been like had Allen, Calvin or Sol been in charge? Listen to find out. Warning: contains disproportionate levels of Will Smith.

Films covered in this episode:

Independence Day
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰
Overall score: 57%